crazey-ness

*Rie fu - Romantic

2010-07-08T01:14:00.003+08:00

yesterday was a day i never imagined of.
and at night after japanese class, there was one thing that struck me.
and at that point of time, the song that was playing on my ipod...

"I'll be still know that You're God."
(:

ohhh shiok, new season of summer dramas! :D

tuesday
ジョーカー許されざる捜査官 - nishikido ryo, ryo, anne.
逃亡弁護士 - kamiji yusuke, ishihara satomi, kitamura kazuki, kyo nobuo.

wednesday
ホタルノヒカリ II - ayase haruka, fujiki naohito, mukai osamu.

friday
うぬぼれ刑事 - ikuta tomoya, nakashima mika, kaname jun, nagase tomoya; toda erika (gst). (oh gosh but this drama sounds a bit... -.-)
崖っぷちのエリー - yamada yu, koizumi kotaro.
熱海の捜査官 - odagiri joe.

saturday
ハンマーセッション！ - hayami mokomichi, shida mirai, higa manami.
美丘 - Yoshitaka Yuriko.
鉄の骨 - Koike Teppei.

i don't know why,
but my blogging addiction subsided gradually since the day i heard about it.
although i miss being able to refer back to these posts one day,
i know there's now a better alternative for me (:

endlessly blessed, (:

2010-07-06T00:34:00.002+08:00

the me a few months ago,
would have been too wrapped up in my own confusion.
but now I've got better things to focus on (:
thank you Lord!
you really did answer my prayer :D

どうしよう？　教えてくれない？

2010-06-04T04:40:00.004+08:00

無意識にそんなことをした、自分でも信じられない。
やばい、　この心情ってどう意味？

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Proverbs 19:11

(:

2010-06-02T02:05:00.002+08:00

- (Celeb to Binbo Taro)

友達と恋人の境界線って何処にあるんだろう？
もしそれを超えたあとでしかわからないものなら
あたしの恋は、あの日始まっていたのかもしれない。

- 赤い糸

the question i've been asking msyelf constantly,

dilemma,
but more doors have been opened yet again.
i cast my cares upon You,
thank You for all my blessings once again.

「新しい自分になりたい」

2010-05-08T01:43:00.004+08:00

whooooo eita & ueno juri & JAEJOONG (i know, i haven't been following news so i'm pretty surprised to see he's in a japanese drama)!
素直になれなくて!
p.s: i'm loving this drama, mostly because of the cast, but from episode 1 [now at ep2 omg /:], it already seems different from other dramas, and it reminds me of last friends (: (:

ueto aya,
narimiya hiroki, naka riisa, HONGO KANATA!
katase nana, kato rosa.
kuroki meisa, mukai osamu, mizobata junpei (:

(: bam i really miss dramas!

p.s yamapi & karina = ashita no joe, spring 2011 :D

-

HONG KONG WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEE (:
a few pictures for now...

,
and addicted to Colbie Caillat (:
Fearless.

If that's the way you love
You've got to learn so much
If that's the way you say goodbye

And this is how it ends
And I'm alright within
Never going to see me cry
Cause I've cried

So go on, go on and break my heart
I'll be okay
There's nothing you can do to me
That's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm fearless, fearless

So oh woh oh woh oh...

If this is how it hurts
It couldn't get much worse
If this is how it feels to fall

Then that's the way it is
We live with what we miss
We learn to build another wall
Till it falls

So go on go on and break my heart
I'll be okay
There's nothing you can do to me
That's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm fearless, fearless

So oh woh oh woh...

If it's between love and losing
To never have known the feeling
And I'm still sad we've loved

And if I end up lonely
At least I will be there knowing
I believe in love

Go on, go on break my heart
I'll be okay
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm fearless, fearless

So go on and leave my love
Go on and leave my love
Go on and leave my love
Better believe I'm fearless, fearless
Fearless...

past few days have been great days with mum, (:
effortless, favour.
Thank You Lord.

夢があって、夢中に特別な友達と恋人になって、びっくりした。 /:

"when you feel like...

2010-04-10T03:17:00.002+08:00

i had a dream,

a dream i have always daydreamed of.

although it lacked the most important element,

nothing else matters if it really does come true.

): i want school.

2010-04-07T01:49:00.010+08:00

last MONDAY,
i was so tired today,
i slept the entire way to work.
on my dad's car,
on the train,
while waiting for the bus,
on the bus,
even while walking to the building as my cap could hide my closed eyes well enough.

last WEDNESDAY,
today was a long day,
and on the 1.5hr long bus ride home,
i woke up 4 times to see different faces beside me!

oh but i don't want them to amend the bus route please.
i'd rather sleep the entire long way than to have to wake up and change buses constantly, plus pay higher bus fares.
no way.

-
wanted to blog this a long time ago, but i never got to it because i never get to keep awake / stay on the blogger page before i ever finish my post.
some topic that came up in 987fm one day,

how long does it take for someone to forget someone?
- two times the amount of time spent together.

last SUNDAY,
Easter (:
after our driving e-trial test,

one word, AWESOME.

We're inspired. In the face of the impossible, we're inspired.
So if I can offer one piece of advice to the world's foremost neurosurgeon.
Today if you become frightened, instead become inspired.
- Isaac, Greys Anatomy S6E7

Passion & Satisfaction go hand in hand,
and without them, any happiness is temporary,
because there's nothing to make it last.
I'd love to hear your dad talk about coins,
because that's when you see a person at his best,
and I've found that someone else's happiness is usually infectious.

- Dear John, Nicholas Sparks

that was the moment i thought,
why doesn't it happen to me?
If only it was offered to me at that time,
and not just now, when I'm already graduating.

But then,
maybe it is just the way life was planned out for me;
for it is definitely the reason for where I was and am now.

-
It's amazing how under the vast blue skies,
we see the same stars here as we have seen in Maldives.
It just makes me think about the days when I walked along the jetty to work;
the nights where I could see full moons and countless number of stars as we joked and trudged back with bagsful of dirty linen;
the time we sneakily headed through the shortcuts to lay on the beach chairs;
watching as each shooting star passed us by,
the silence so deafening I could hear my heart thumping as I stared wide-eyed into the skies,
stunned and still not believing I was where I was.
And back to the present,
right under my flat,
the song made me freeze in my steps as the wind grazed the sides of my face.
And as I stood there,
I could do nothing when the warm tears started streaming down.

-

Izzie: Surgery. It's the thing you come home from, not the thing you come home to.
Alex: Love comes and goes, Surgery doesn't.

- Greys Anatomy S6E12.

reality.

-
i don't disagree that this post has been a messy and randomful one. it contains only just some thoughts i've had in the past month, but never got to successfully blog about, before i fall asleep and new thoughts just keep flooding my mind.

"something about you"

2010-03-29T01:11:00.002+08:00

guess who's in the cast of Clash of the Titans?
(:
Nicholas Hoult (better known as Tony from Skins) heh (:

oh i miss Skins.

i miss dramas.
i miss being home.
i miss chionging projects.
i miss tp.

yesterday it was in the mail.
transcript stating the results of subject modules from all our 3 years of school.
it's over.

and now as i stand still,
my life is moving on,
swiftly passing me by.

but i can't make up my mind.

please, give me an answer..

Chris Daughtry, Over You.

2010-03-19T15:43:00.000+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

そう言いたいでしょう？

lollipop,

2010-03-15T00:05:00.002+08:00

too many overdue posts,
but right now the only one that's worth turning my stomach cool,

is the dull image of a screen lingering in my mind.
every pixel seems to remind me of you.
i'm utterly stunned.

You make it through the pain,

2010-02-07T18:19:00.001+08:00

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain,
Weather the hurricanes to get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries

Adam Lambert - No Boundaries;

a call came from far far away again,
(:
the voice, the sounds.
it made me think of the breeze against our hair,
whipping it against our faces;
the water rushing against our feet as we sat on the deck of the dhoni,
the blue waters clearer than water from the swimming pool.

i'll always remember this,
the prize for AB team as somehow we got full attendance for beach cleaning (:
a buffet lunch at Valtur resort,
and the ride on the hi-life cruise which was superbbbbbbbbb.

standing upright & proud in our uniforms (:

despite the initial "ergh" at having to wear the sarong after the comfortable pants i wore for my first outlet,
somehow i grew to like them & one random fine day...
me: shannny lets exchange uniforms to try! :D

the tiny mirror where sometimes three/four of us would be crowding in front of..

it felt so good to always come back and have people to talk to.
not that i was always early, or that i was energetic enough to speak, or that i loved that it was rowdy in the room
but it definitely did lift my spirits when i felt like grumbling and i knew people were there to listen, to make me laugh.
i never had the fortune of having to come home with sisters and brothers to make fun of me, to laugh at/with me, to just randomly eat/drink with, watch tv with, talk with.
yet i was blessed with two other (aside from shan) wonderful sisters for my three months!

and the family extends!

yes, not to mention the countless surprise birthday parties we had,
blowing tons and tons of balloons,
drawing faces on the balloons to represent each and everyone of us...

(some burst, some deflated with time, and sabrina's was the last one standing :)

good times with the girls,
gorgeous sunsets,

even on the last day when me and shan decided to weather the rough waves to not let go of that one chance,
that one last chance to kayak out and be that close to the most amazing scene,

and everything we left behind..

the last scene we remember of our home for an unforgettable three months,

last day, last scenes,
but it was the first time no books/files were on my bed,
the first time my cubicle was to be empty in three months.

and as we left,
me and shan knew the room would never feel the same again.

-
hmmm
40tabs, 3msn, 2MWord, 1notepad file,
13hours of no rest,
& my laptop crashes!

thank goodness for google chrome RESTORE button even after the system switches off.
my MWord file wasn't as fortunate and turned into some entire document of unreadable signals, but i count my blessings as i did upload the file half an hour before the file was lost.

but i think i can no longer process "critical analytical skills" to complete my research paper.

perhaps,

2010-02-01T23:51:00.004+08:00

:) it will suffice

to have heard that,
i believe it was a message He sent me.
thank You.
bcos i believe You will lead me the right way.

(:

(: Jesse McCartney - Come to Me

2010-01-31T10:19:00.000+08:00

Under the silver stars,
Right where he broke your heart.
Girl you know, I'd give you anything.
I wanna hold your hand,
And say the words he never said.
I'll make you promises you can believe.

Let me be the one,
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

When you're down and you feel so lonely
Turn around, you can come to me
When you're down baby, I will be the only
Come to me

You can just be yourself,
'Cause I don't want nobody else.
All of your secrets are safe with me.
For the kind of love you can trust,
For more than just a crush,
Baby, why don't you just come to me?

Let me be the one,
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

When I've got you in my arms (got you in my arms)
Say it's where you wanna be (where you wanna be, yeah)
'Cause girl I'm down on my knees
Promising my heart, oh, my heart

whenever you need me(always here)
whenever you need me girl
whenever you neeed me
oh, I'll be there
whenever you need me
whenever you need me girl
whenever you need me
oh, i'll be there

郭靜 - 心牆

2010-01-30T14:31:00.000+08:00

一個人　眺望碧海和藍天
在心裡面那抹灰就淡一些
海豚從眼前飛越
我看見了最陽光的笑臉
好時光都該被寶貝　因為有限
我學著不去擔心得太遠
不計畫太多反而能勇敢冒險
豐富地過每一天　快樂地看每一天
Wooh～第一次遇見陰天遮住你側臉
有什麼故事好想了解
我感覺我懂你的特別
你的心有一道牆
但我發現一扇窗
偶爾透出一絲暖暖的微光
就算你有一道牆
我的愛會攀上窗台盛放
打開窗你會看到悲傷融化
你會聞到幸福晴朗的芬芳
ps 大家覺得好聽就支持正版^^~

give me inspiration needed for my research paper pls.

2010-01-29T01:20:00.003+08:00

i was surprised how i could be so damned honest with someone.

but that said,
i had trouble with another matter.
and i now feel nothing but lousy.

too much to handle for one night

2010-01-27T04:03:00.002+08:00

i am in utter shock and disbelief right now.

one was fine.
two was a shock, i don't know if it was pleasant anymore.

sidenote,
NAPFA was fantastic :D
i don't know how i could keep up the timing of 12.35 for 2.4km after all these years.
did everything well too :D
gold! :D

a new chapter.

2010-01-24T15:27:00.001+08:00

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid.
Tell me princess, now when did you last
Let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world!
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you!

Now I'm in a whole new world with you!

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky
A whole new world!
(Don't you dare close your eyes)
An hundred thousand things to see
(Hold your breath--it gets better!)
I'm like a shooting star,
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be!

A whole new world!
(Every turn a surprise)
With new horizons to pursue
(Every moment, red-letter)
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole
new world with you
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

it was, and those memories will remain etched in my heart.
thank you all for the wonderful times.
it is irreplaceable, and i will not change those times for anything else.
lots of love from home, to somewhere else also called home and family.

what goes on behind the scenes of an island resort,
is unknown to the public eye.

but it is no lie it is still a paradise on earth.

dhow?

2010-01-14T03:09:00.005+08:00

everything happens because of a choice we make,
dhow?
its because of our choices,
that we become what we become.

From endless,

who to trust?

i need ascertainment.

2010-01-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

someone prove me wrong,
tell me i have nothing to fear.

15/dec/2009

Taylor Swift - A Place in this World

i'm just a girl
trying to find a place in the world

& tomorrow's just a mystery

i dont know.

2010-01-03T22:16:00.004+08:00

どうして期待を持てるの？
どうしていつも楽しみに待ってるの？
どうしてあなたがいない時、不安な感じがある？
もうあなたに頼ってしまった。

たぶん、本当に恋をしたことがない。

is this supposed to feel like this?
i want to know. i really want to know ):

17days left on the island,
i don't know what i'm feeling right now,
and i don't want to know what i'm feeling.

dilemma.

2009-12-13T03:20:00.005+08:00

i feel blessed.
really blessed.

(:

Hillsong - Look To You

As I look into the sky above
Wonder how my life has changed
Wonder how Your love, it came to me
As I look into the sky above
All my fears, so far away
All I feel is heaven calling me

sometimes people just don't know the real reason,
and they choose to believe it.
to not care about what people say,
it sucks.
when is it worth/not worth explaining?

From underwater!

life.

2009-12-11T18:11:00.003+08:00

overwhelmed; i hope i'm not falling sick.
too many changes, emotions,
i feel more than just mere suffocation..

its been only four days,
and we are on the same island,
but i really miss the bunch of peeps.
(even though i still visit them at the outlet every night)

you never know how much they mean to you, until you lose them

split shift right now, its 409pm.
planned to catch some sleep which i seriously lack of,
but i can't seem to now that i just read ho's blog.
- i don't know you well, Max, but i miss you too.. even though you were peeing all over the floor while we were there, i liked you. and i'm sure ho misses you dearly although he is saved from mopping the floor almost every minute of his life.. hope you are feeling better than you ever were.

within grasp, or not.

From endless,

my last sunsets at Al Barakat..

From endless,

a hugeeeeee eel, seen from Al Barakat bar.

From endless,

"I'll be there for youuuuuuuu~"

2009-12-02T19:14:00.002+08:00

where the sky meets the sea;

From endless,

all hard at work;

From Al Barakat

Fear,
it's a bizarre notion.
how it can overwhelm and control you,
having you beg for mercy.
yet it may motivate you,
to strive for things you never knew you could do.

rain rain!

2009-11-30T13:08:00.003+08:00

the anticipation of knowing what lays at the end of the rainbow.

From endless,

the first entire rainbow i've seen in my life.
during East Beach cleaning, two weeks ago.
yes plenty of space and sky here in Maldives! (:

i miss the days i wore jeans in aust everyday ):

2009-11-28T04:31:00.002+08:00

もし「あたしが怒らない」と言ったら、
嘘ついているね。
だから、黙ってるの。
どうやって「君の事ですから」といえる？
無理！

From endless,

hooohoo.

2009-11-26T18:38:00.001+08:00

From endless,

Forgiveness is for the Undeserving,

- The One Thing, Daily Devotional.

milo-coffee mix for breakfast & supper,
hotcakes for breakfast.
i can totally get used to it :D

work's been great (:

even though there are some unhappy occurrences with guests, eventually its the other guests who make my day whole once again :D

reluctance.

2009-11-25T19:20:00.002+08:00

They derive the most satisfaction from doing the best they can

- Four Seasons: The Story of A Business Philosophy, Isadore Sharp

From endless,

in search of novelty in the vast unfamiliarity of a new world;

From endless,

Dam dam di dam dam dam dam dam.

2009-11-25T03:42:00.005+08:00

I just know that I will come to know,
this is just a passing phase that will follow us through.
Even if the stubborn streak in me is telling me not,
I believe I shall be Wise enough to know.

the ever-changing scene never fails to remind me of how different each day can turn out to be - to be only what we make it out to be.

From endless,

i think i am supposed to be missing Singapore,
but no,
somehow i'm missing Melbourne ):
the weather, the streets, the expensive city parking, Westfield, Safewayyyyyyy.

but then again, i can't imagine the day comes when we have to leave FSLG ):
a guest asked me ~~today~~yesterday how long i've been here.
as i recalled in my head, it struck me - one month.
its just how fast time has been, dhow?

five for fighting - 100 years*

2009-11-23T06:48:00.005+08:00

):
i miss watching grey's.
i need my grey's anatomy season SIX!
after months of not catching up on entertainment news, i went to greysanatomy insider and realised that Kim Raver is in the cast ):
I NEED MY WEEKLY DOSAGE OF MED DRAMA! ):

more than just lights;
they lead us in the dark.

From endless,

Five for fighting - 100 years

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

dolphins, serenade.

2009-11-22T06:45:00.003+08:00

genuine excitement at a refreshing sight of life;

From endless,

where nothing else matters,

From endless,

(: Dolphin cruise,
not a wonder wonder, but it was a wonderful time for my mind to just wander.

5AM FSLG time, i better go to sleep. (:

taeyang - wedding dress*

2009-11-20T18:20:00.002+08:00

When I say beautiful things, I'm not necessarily living them; when I live them, the beautiful thing is that words aren't necessary.

- Brock Tully

truly beautiful.

its nearing a month since we left the city,
yet it doesn't seem to be that long already.
being left with two months,
i believe it will pass as soon as how the first month has been.
on paradise island,
what lays ahead?

because for now,
i know its wonders.

From Al Barakat

yamapi - loveless*

2009-11-19T03:26:00.005+08:00

あたしが大嫌いな人になりたくない。
そんなひどい感じがあっても、ほかの人にそんな感じがさせないのがほしい。
やだ！

anyway,

There is no witness so dreadful,
no accuser so terrible,
as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man.

- Criminal Minds

sunsets.

2009-11-18T06:50:00.004+08:00

its tough to keep the faith,
but comfort and solace comes in knowing that with every sunset,
the day will end and nothing less than a greater beginning awaits.

From endless,

An adventure I never thought I would have,
its been made of endless new experiences.
Every day here feels different,
even though there is still more than a tinge of familiarity in the routine.
Bad days and good days.
They all come and go.
And I know the reason why.

Thank You.

:D

2009-11-13T05:28:00.001+08:00

some random offday shots from monday (:

tanning, kayaking, gym, staff loungeing,
and a broken toenail from gym -.-

past few days,
huge storms and winds which made furniture fly, break, crack, into the sea,
made colleagues drenched and sneezing the whole night.

weather has been crazy, the weather was sweltering hot today ):

other than that and the fact that i am usually at work till about 1am, (: (:

criminal minds s5e2! (:

call centre no koibito! :D

2009-11-12T04:24:00.002+08:00

なんか寂しいなああ～
毎日帰った時、皆もう寝ちゃった。。

でも今日、働くときは楽しかった。
やさしいお客様がいますが、もちろんおもしろくないのもいます。
でも、お友達たちも元気にされた。　（：

and i did a silly thing today haha. if only i didn't push it away -.-
oh well, i'm sure i will be even more blessed than today (:
thank you.

reply to jimmycheang,
ohmgod making me jealous huh.
i'm having curry and pasta and rice like everyday, although i do miss the ba chor mee and oyster omelette ): ):
omg 2012, i want to watch! tell ahgeng, she promised me the pirated version HAHA!

(:

2009-11-09T02:30:00.002+08:00

two happy happy nights at work (:
saturday, sundayyyyyyyy!
guest interactions made my day again!

and now marks 2hours into my offday :D
monday!

ho, did i mention i'm super hungry right now /:

mygosh i'm going crazy.
i can't access dramawiki or d-addicts bcos its blocked!
I NEED MY SOFTSUBS ZZZ!
okay maybe i will watch raw!

its been a long time since i heard this song, but it did come up in the itunes shuffle, (:
Ken Hirai - Cry and Smile

Sha-la-la-la-la 涙は
Sha-la-la-la ここに置いてくよ
Sha-la-la-la-la だから笑って
この歌を口ずさもう!
明日は Smile Smile Smile
きっと Smile Smile Smile
時々 Cry
人生は　Cry & Smile
Smile Smile Smile
時々 Cry 明日はきっと Smile!!

electric candles,

finally,

2009-11-08T03:50:00.005+08:00

off day on monday,
i spent helping jason with stuff and just nua-ing and chatting at canteen,
couldn't go to any water activities bcos of the weather ):

wednesday was edna's off day,
we headed to the spa for massage in the morning :D
it was pretty shiok, and it ended up as a complimentary from jason who says he will treat everyone to the spa once!
(THANK YOU anyway! :)
then, i headed to work!

friday was department outing in the morning, sabrina joined us.
it was an eye-opener.
i have never been to such a traditional village, and the island was so small we could finish touring in less than ten minutes.
but it was great fun, with the company who doubled as our local tour guides.
all the residents were really friendly, especially the children who were always smiling! they weren't easily scared of strangers!

DHONFANU!
i have tons of photos of everyone during the entire outing, (my camera batt just flatt-ed out that day as i took more than 200 photos),
but this collage will be for Shiaaz and his family, our wonderful hosts for the afternoon (:

some of the local insight (:
bricks, hammocks, sand, old houses, etc.

my favourite photo of that day (:
as we walked past one of the houses..
her hands are blurred becos she was waving and my camera just captured it that way ): but still :D :D !!

we reached back resort time at 440+pm, didn't manage to have time for dinner after shower, etc.
didn't realise i was starving until i didn't carry a tray properly and a water goblet dropped. it was then i felt my arm go all weak /:
yes, friday night was Disaster at work for me as i made lots of mistakes ):

one more day to offday, with ednaaaaaaaa! :D :D

like what coney said, we need to be Fed ):
and today was a fulfilling day as she switched on her podcast out loud :D
g'night people!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, JIMMY CHEANG!
i hope my birthday sms did not wake you up, forgive me becos there was a time difference haha!
well, won't be able to spend it together with the rest of ock this year but still, lots of loves from Maldives!
we shall all survive internship, see you in three!

prays her laptop will be fine.

2009-11-05T05:26:00.003+08:00

after watching Buzzer Beat ep7,

alone just feels different, doesn't it?

and ohmygosh.
i think my homework for now is just to read up on keigo as well as basics.
i've clean & completely forgotten everything in there.

updates probably tomorrow!

イチブトゼンブ - B'z, Buzzer Beat
「アナタは私のほんのイチブしか知らない」
勝ち誇るように笑われても　それほどイヤじゃないよ
生まれてくる前　聞いたようなその深い声
それだけで人生のオカズになれるくらいです

すべて知るのは到底無理なのに
僕らはどうして
あくまでなんでも征服したがる
カンペキを追い求め（血眼で）
愛しぬけるポイントがひとつありゃいいのに

もしそれが君のほんのイチブだとしても
何よりも確実にはっきり好きなところなんだ
（何が何でも）
困った時　少しまゆげを曲げてみせたり
抱きよせるとホッとするような柔らかさだったり

すべて掴んだつもりになれば
また傷つくだろう
ほんとに要るのは有無を言わせない
圧倒的な手ざわり (Ah, you are the one)
愛しぬけるポイントがひとつありゃいいのに

君にしかわからないこと(I can't tell)
僕だけが見えていること(Never know)
どれもホントのこと

すべて何かのイチブってことに
僕らは気づかない
愛しい理由(わけ)を見つけたのなら
もう失わないで(Ah, you are the one)
愛しぬけるポイントがひとつありゃいいのに
それだけでいいのに

every beat of my heart.

2009-11-02T03:59:00.005+08:00

there are songs that make us want to dance;
songs that make us want to sing along.
but the best songs are the ones that bring you back to the moment you first heard them,
and once again,
break your heart.

- gossip girl, s3e5.

having doubts every single day...

gossip girl.

2009-11-01T05:37:00.004+08:00

was about to blog about how the fear seems to be overwhelming.

but before i could,
i read an overdued Daily Devotional which is still marked as unread in my gmail.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

& everything else is forgotten.
isn't this magical?
sunset at Blu;

favourite photos on facebook,
ask me for picasa links for full albums of my camera photos (:

xoxo gossip girl, 401am FSM time.
miss everyone back there,

ええええ？

2009-10-28T02:19:00.005+08:00

疲れた。

今一番会いたいのはOCK家族。。

遅くまで楽しかった、

もう一度したい。

本当に苦しいのは自分がしてはいけない。

もう一度そんなに笑えるのがほしい。。

MALDIVES IS HEAVENLY PARADISE, until we start work, probably.

2009-10-25T05:15:00.003+08:00

night at FSKH,
boat rides, seaplane flights.

stars at night are like in millions.
the water is beautiful! :D
clear, clear, totally clear.

(:

yes, i am safe :D
and roomies with shan!

alright time to sleep! it's 320am FSMaldives time! /:

*LVOE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG

2009-10-15T06:21:00.002+08:00

argh.
i should never have trusted my dad's thumbdrive from nowhere.
NOW I HAVE A DUPER IRRITATING DOUBLE CLICK VIRUS =.=

and i'm too lazy to bother about it bcos its 621am =.=
gargh.

more tears.

2009-10-14T14:01:00.005+08:00

itunes played "New Perspective" by Panic at the Disco.
reminded of 987. reminded of singing during work.

don't feel like heading out of the house though i'm supposed to meet yy.
friends' facebook status updates are making me more emo.

Jaci Velasquez - Imagine me without you.

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through

farewells, it won't feel like just another off-day tomorrow.

2009-10-14T00:51:00.013+08:00

you know when it starts only when you are alone?
it's happened again.

one month ago,
we were wondering how we were going to spend our following four weeks.
past week,
we were half-excited that last day of work was coming,
colleagues were telling me how they would miss us.
it made me feel like maybe after all, i didn't want last day of work to come so soon.
today,
gaogao told me in the morning that tmr wouldn't be the same;
i was at the cheese counter arranging the cheeses, and i blinked back tears.
the day spent included a lot of random phototaking, especially with those working the morning shift.
after work,
night was emotional.
shan's bday celebration, speeches, photo-taking, more contact-details exchanging.
jokes for the first part of the night, tears and lots of hugs for the last hour.
no longer the same rushed goodbyes after work; it was the tight hugs we knew would be one of the last.

i thought i was alright already.
chef vincent (cartoon! :) kept telling the three of us to stop or else he would also start lol; chef fairiiz said to not flood his car with tears.
yet i knew the moment i left the car when it reached my house, it wasn't.
the tears i held back just started again.

thank you for the patience, guidance, knowledge, fun, food, jokes, care & concern the past month have been filled with. life would never have been this way, and will never be the same again, without you people.

wishes she could live a day ahead

2009-10-13T03:56:00.001+08:00

it really doesn't help that suddenly,
its everywhere.
why does it have to be at this time?
i never ever saw it before, so why do i see it everywhere (and i mean everywhere) now?
is this more than just a coincidence?
please, just let it end now if its not going to work.

sunday,
830am work, rushed to meet ahbu for fourth service after :D
dinnered and talked talked talked like there was no end to the night (:
shops were closing but we still walked in and like deprived souls who have been spending time on only working, we bought stuff!
home sweet home at about 11+pm!

reblogged from kari-shma

time passed pretty fast,
today will be the last day of work.
and i've already felt touched, a milions of times ):

blessings,

-
that day i say it didn't matter.
i wonder if its changed and this is real.
or are these once again, just twisted facts.

-
the truth which may come as a tale;
the time comes when it stops altogether because no one believes so.

and she wonders,

2009-10-10T02:26:00.003+08:00

the road we settled on,
we can't undo.
moments of deliberation,
yet time is not an ally.

camomile tea & honey, where's my lemon?

2009-10-09T03:06:00.002+08:00

RPH & OFFDAY (wed&thurs) FLEW BYEEEEEEEEE!
spent my wed at the library, grabbed a few books before heading to tampines1 to get more months' supply worth of contact lenses. once again, i'm "awed" by the service provided at Paris Miki!
ahbu reached about 8+pm, and we slacked at carl's jr for dinner before heading over to my house (:
slept at close to 4am!

~~breakfast~~brunched at about 1+pm!

she left at about 2+pm,

yy came over at about 5+pm to get me to "tutor her on japanese",
which i didn't do a good job of bcos my memory was failing me already after months of absence from the class term ):
i wonder how i'm going to cope when i resume next year!

anyway, its been long since i logged into tumblr (:
all the random stuff!

But it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

- American Beauty, via whileibreatheistillhope.

hmm. hungry again /:

2009-10-07T01:39:00.004+08:00

"if you had one thing you would change about yourself, what would that be?"

somehow, i've been posed this question a lot recently.
i once thought "wow i wish it was my birthplace".

nothing else would actually come to my mind despite how routinely in our lives, i will always say "i wish i was this.. i wish i was that..."
but today, there was this other notion, and i can't believe it hit me so hard, i actually related it back to this question.
gosh, i effing hate this.

and,
今日、誰かに怒られた。でも、帰ったのあとでしか気付かなかった。
the surge of agitation only came when i was telling yy about it which was at like 11+pm!
i don't know myself why i was so unaffected by it; i guess its because i realise that coming from you, it doesn't really matter.

but on the flip side,
Favours, Favours, and more Favours (:
in the past week, i've been given a few lifts as well as nice company for on the way home :D
breakfast treat (thanks jason) and dinner (lovelots&thanks to the peeps) today was great too.
plans for these coming few weeks also reminds me of just how greatly i've been blessed (:
98.7fm has also been playing great songs throughout :D although it reminds me of work (but its the fun memories hah!) :D :D

START OF MY RPH&OFFDAY! :D

tasks: ~~laundry~~, vacuuming, library, contact lenses.
zahhhhhhhhhh! as soon as i know it, it will be friday ):
reminder: check if my jlpt2 notes are home, or have i lent them to cassie.

you know you've heard a best voice when you close your eyes and listen, yet all you can feel is that eye-tearing spellbound emotion.

she feels a lil hungry /:

2009-10-05T01:53:00.006+08:00

okay did lots of random stuff!
realised i've also got recent drafts on blogger - i was too tired to ever finish them up!
hah.

whooooooo!
this wednesday and thursday - returnforpublichol/offinlieu, offday.
ECSTATIC.
i can finally awake not to the thought of having to travel to work.
although it means its also vacuuming, laundry, whatelse again! ):
but nevermind, because this time my off-days finally coincides with ahbu's!
overjoyed (:

past week,
monday, spent my precious off day ejournal-ing at home, and time flew by very quickly.
wednesday, chinatown shopping with yinying & ahbu after work (: ahgeng met us for dinner!
FRIDAY, met yy at vivocity after work, waited for reubenho & joe! destress session again hah :D
cabbed to tampines after but we couldn't get jimmy on the cab bcos he was not in time zzz! second cabbed to my hse where yy, jimmy & reuben stayed over for the night! (:
saturday & we headed to classroom sessions. many stories from other peeps whom i haven't met in a while; and then work!

random sidenote.
Discovery Travel & Living is remedy! (:

SUNDAY? what sunday?

2009-10-05T00:02:00.001+08:00

love my colleagues (:
people have been leaving ):
all the while we were counting down the days till 13th oct.
now its probably left with eight working days.
but what they've been saying makes me keep thinking about how terribly i will miss them.

-
i'm glad i clean forgotten what happened (:
what may be a big deal one day, may not be the next day.
today its not my turn but,

everyday is a brand new day,
tomorrow will be a better day.

after all, if today was a "worst" day, what more can go wrong tomorrow?
(:
loveeeee on wednesday!

reblogged from ((kari-shma.

when the girl can't help but grin like an idiot :D

2009-10-02T01:53:00.001+08:00

"wow",
i never knew what an effect it would have.

Taylor Swift - Tim McGraw (:

When you think Tim McGraw
I hope you think my favorite song
Someday you'll turn your radio on
I hope it takes you back to that place
When you think happiness
I hope you think that little black dress
Think of my head on your chest
And my old faded blue jeans
When you think Tim McGraw
I hope you think of me

long walks after work!

(overdued pics) - lovelove shtcubed! (:

alrighty,
too tired;
so many things i would love to say, but i'm too tired to express it in words!
goodnight peeps!
(: have good days ahead!

"take me where i've never been"

2009-09-26T02:02:00.004+08:00

cos' if anyone can make me fall in love, you can.

the first and last thing i do everyday, is miss you.

((reblogged from ICANREAD

bring upon a smile on my face (: dont say "yet.

2009-09-25T00:06:00.004+08:00

was late for work ~~today~~yesterday, yet not bcos of oversleeping.
dad was a kind soul; he decided to give me a lift to work instead of just to pasir ris train station.
ho & behold we were met with the worst jam ever. three or many, in fact.

the moment i left my house in the morning, i was thoroughly enjoying the great weather.
half an hour later, i was close to swearing at it. after all, its caused broken tree branches and accidents and thus jams, all around Singapore.
but i didn't.
dad even apologised for causing me to be late; i was shocked.
partly bcos of that, and bcos of what i've been reminding myself lately - "to not let the past rob you of your joy today",
it was my turn to be calming him bcos there was nothing we could do anyway.
i used to be the one cursing under my breath, "oh damnit why is this jam not moving?!".
yet this time, i "willingly resigned" to the fact - the jam will not disperse no matter how i waste my energy being all angsty.
in the end, according to my watch, i reached punctually for my shift! (: but yes, according to company's time, i was 15mins late! ):

a half hour ride that took 1.25hours..
the jam from pasir ris to cte/city via PIE, and then to the connecting roads leading to dempseyyyy.

one jam dispersed to my delight, yet imagine the horror on my face when i saw yet another red triangle indicating slow traffic! ):

skin was feeling really thin today due to the weather,
had a burn and a cut! & after i removed the plaster at about 9+pm, i almost thought my finger needed thawing /:

other random stuff of the week (:

look at how quickly singaporeans are on the move! (okay i'm guilty of that too haha!)

met ahbu at city hall platform; whitesands kfc for dinner & big-time destress chat session :D
left at about 10pm!
(damned hilariously, the typical after-photo reaction!)

-
KOHI TEN with my parents the other day (:

-
wednesday, after my short-lived retail therapy session on my offday (at least i got to strike off some stuff on my shopping list (:
yin-ying! :D

(isn't the little girl in the yoshi ad pretty scary?)
met ahbu, ahgeng, reubenho at dhoby ghaut after, for THE UGLY TRUTH & macs destress chat session! :D
home sweet home at about late 11+pm!

-
seems like its been ageeeeeeeeeeeeeees ): ):

"Hold me now, safe within Your love"

2009-09-23T03:24:00.003+08:00

~~today~~yesterday was a great day.
(:
Thank you.

"There is no one else for me,"

2009-09-22T01:14:00.006+08:00

i wonder what i was thinking the other day, but this thought came to my mind.

Doesn't all evil actually begin with something good?

i hear thunder, again!
hopefully it won't rain again while i'm on the way up to dempsey tmr ):
although at least its been making my last few nights pleasant with blissful sleep (:

saturday's dinner was at my cousin's house, and surprisingly, the only article i read that night
was featured during service on sunday!
yes, went for service although i was like half hour late because of work.
but once again, was pretty glad i went (:

but anyway, the article was from the papers;
HAPPINESS IS LIKE A VIRUS (click to read the article).

:D

sunday night, yy stayed over and we just talked till about 2am (: (: (:
hah monday is history as i was off to work again!

CAN'T WAIT FOR WEDNESDAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! :D

"I'm the whisper in the wind"

2009-09-20T00:12:00.002+08:00

Saturday rolled off on a bad start;
I finally saw the sunlight after exiting from Orchard Boulevard but to my horrorrrrrrrrrrrrr,
it was raining heavily ):

drenched & soaked through even before i started work as I walked all the way in from the bus stop without an umbrella.
result - wet & damp feet the entire day. a few sneezes.
lesson of the day - always carry an umbrella esp for work.
which leads me to...
reminder - buy a small umbrella.

X_X

off day for this coming week was rescheduled ):
no longer monday but instead, wednesday!
hmmm and no one's off day seems to coincide with mine (plans for monday's shopping, i won't be able to make it! :(
oh well i'll probably look forward to another day of sleeping in though :D

g'night peeps, work starts 830am later ):
worse than SSM lol. but at least it means i end earlieeeeeeeer :D :D

zargh!
知りたい。　意味が知りたいなあああ～

あなたがいるの夢をもう一度見たい。

2009-09-17T22:55:00.005+08:00

phone calls on rides home from work make my day (:
friends make my dayyyyy (:

was on the phone with this really kuku fella and we were probably already dozing off into a half asleep state..

"bye. eh why don't you put down the phone?"
"why don't YOU put down the phone?"
"lol okay then we 1 2 3"
"okay 1 2 3"
"byeeee"
"byueeee"
"eh put down lah"
"why don't YOU hang up?!"
"ONE TWO THREE!"

*after a few more byes & 123s, finally someone gives in & the phone line clicks* lol.

hmm, seriously.
will there be a job out there which i will wake up to everyday
and still can't help but say "OH MAN I LOVE MY JOB & I CANT WAIT TO GET TO WORK".
everyone's all being grouchy about work - some never liked it from the start, some lost motivation...
i can't say i'm pretty enthusiastic too now that it is my third day for the local 1mth placement.
i don't hate it.
but i don't exactly loveeeee it either.
its a mix of.. interesting, boring, stressing /:
and perhaps if i don't have to leave house 2hours before the start of my shift , i would be much happier ):

yesterday was off day, and it flew by pretty fast ):
but today after work, i managed to catch an episode during my dinner :D

FINALLY, lipstick jungle s2e12 (:

nico: I'm not all alone?
wendy: Of course not.
nico: I thought I was all alone.

Awwwwwwwww..

two distinct songs played in the background for the episode,

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Adele - Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love

Arashi - step & go!*

2009-09-14T01:42:00.004+08:00

when all seems too good to be true,
the danger is not knowing when and what to trust.

sunday.
laughed my mind off when i heard about...
how no one says "you have sexy waxy ears" or "oh you have a beautiful liver".
i enjoyed service today (:
although ahbu wasn't there ):
but we were early and had seats, and i managed to stay awake bcos i could actually see the screen :D

after some random webhopping...

Trafalgar Square :D
I can't believe i was there like almost everyday while i was in London ): i remember feeding the pigeons that were there (:
although it seems they were gone after 2008 O_O

):
every single time i go to a destination and actually stay for long, i grow to love the place so much so i don't ever want to leave.
its been the same for europe, australia, japan. not just because these are well-known "prettypretty" destinations and that "of course, everyone just wants to be there, who doesn't?"
it goes waaaaaaaayyyy beyond that.
and when i'm back home in singapore, i miss those places so so much; much much much more than i do for singapore.
but.
いつもいつもぐちぐちしているの私たち。。
「ああああ！外国に住みたい！シンガーポルに住みたくない。おもしろくなくて、きれいじゃないところだ」って言っている。
でも正直、今機会もう取った、どうして表せない感じがある？
たぶん、いろいろな話がよく聞いたので、こんな感じがあるのかな？

maybe i'm hoping, these stories i've heard and read about and know it's true, will not turn out true for me, bcos it refers to totally different situations/places.
well, i'll prove it myself (:

Jesse McCartney - Because you live

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live

ultimate randomness

2009-09-13T01:50:00.006+08:00

FM Static - Voyage of Beliefs

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known

(: pretty damned pretty (:

reminder
change wallpaper!
i need a new wallpaper,
my eyes are kind of getting sick of viewing macarons ):
think i shall just use the lazy way out and use the above screenshot :D

BACKDATEEEEED!

2009-09-12T17:11:00.001+08:00

fall 2009,
vampire diaries: 10/sept
gossip girl s3: 14/sept
the beautiful life: 16/sept
greys anatomy s6: 24/sept

The Beautiful Life!

exec producer: ashton kutcher.
cast: corbin bleu, mischa barton, sara paxton!
:D

& yes, georgina is back!
gossip girl season3,

hilary duff's character & dan humphrey?! ):

:D so much info about blair/chuck on insider.
finally :D
loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the couple.
oooh. Sebastian Stan (plays Carter Baizen) is Leighton Meester's real life partner! how cute! :D

-
autumn09 jdramas
oct2009
tokyo dogs (mon): oguri shun, mizushima hiro,
real clothes (tues): karina - FINALLY its out!
bocho mania 09 (thurs): mukai osamu
untouchable (fri): nakama yukie, kaname jun
ohitorisama (fri): mizuki alisa, koike teppei, maya miki
my girl (fri): aiba masaki
shokojo seira (sat): shida mirai

nov2009

liar game 2 (tues), gosh there's gonna be a movie as well after the season!

tanpatsu
hataraku gon (sept): shinohara ryoko, karina, hiraoka yuta
chichi yo, anata wa erakatta: kato shigeaki, aibu saki

~lalallaallaaa

2009-09-12T04:21:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAA!
me & yy have got the FUNNIEST CHEMISTRY ever.
*rofl*
and shee got into FSMaldivessss toooooooooooooo! :D :D :D
whooohoo while we're there and calling each other on our prepaids, maybe the same chemistry will happen again LOL!
and by then hopefully we will not be repeating Margaret Cho's words!
omg lol the "ISLAND THING" HAHA.
shucks!

okay as you can see, i was going a little crazy hahaha! but oh well inside joke.

anyway, friday..
bus 39 ride was a pretty damned nice one :D weather was greeeeeeeeeaaaaaat.
met up with sabrina, edna, shan (:
headed to the HQ, walked a really really really long way before we waited a pretty long time hah!

after, met up with ahbu at city hall. toastboxed! :D
not much of walking around before we bought black shoes.
not long after, reubeneepur joined us and we thai-expressed!
:D
sip stories! ):
makes me really worried about monday! 6days workweek omgggg~

oh well!

ohoh & ahbu & reubenee both had dejavu while at citylink!
and i had a dream last night! :D :D
which will probably never happen but oh well, it was a sweet dream! :D

bwaaaaah. alright!
gotta enjoy sleeping my last weekend off! (:
maybe i'll have nice dreams again :D

author of salvation~

2009-09-11T00:29:00.001+08:00

been walking a lot these days, happy! (:

results were released ytd (thurs)!
(:
real glad i didn't do very badly for MICE & lodging.
the thought of taking supp paper crossed my mind every time i flipped the papers to see the 12/15m Gold Standards questions, and my incomplete MICE answer booklet -.-

anyway,
was sorting through old papers i used during the semester while i was searching for some stuff.
and found this random phrase that i wrote when i heard it on 98.7FM (:

mood-boosting technique:
think about one happy thing yesterday.

is there a smile on your face?

well maybe it doesn't work for you but it does for me! (:

Arashi - One Love

2009-09-10T02:14:00.002+08:00

might be a coincidence, but an aunt sent me this sms earlier tdy..

trials don't come to make us fall,
but for us to look for God and call,
trials don't serve as keys to hate,
but rather doors to greater faith.

reminder
get my printed contract from yy's file.
relink jono.

):

2009-09-09T01:02:00.006+08:00

in the recent week,
almost everyone is off on an entirely new journey in life.
jono was off to japan for his exchange program at Keio uni.
sheila will be off to beijing for osip.
the rest of my friends were/are off to companies for their sip.

all fearful,
but i guess we got to face the reality & changes whether we like it or not.

for now, a few farewell photos!

jono, hopefully you are safe & sound.
and that you will not be affected by any earthquakes! ):
come back safely, i will see you in 6 months!

lalaaaa! our source of entertainment news (: haha.
and i willl misss youuuuu bcos there's one less person to talk to, laugh with, complain with, dine with. and so many other things to do with.
): take care okay. send your stories over to us :D
and yes you're on skype! (: (: (:
we may be miles away from each other but may our minds still be close to each other! :D

-
What if i'm not strong enough?
i guess, fear is probably the one thing that keeps people from doing well.
we all say yes we are prepared.
but i believe we all still have our fears and insecurities,
no matter how confident we look.
pretty much just like in The Proposal, where Margaret Tate admitted that she cried in the washroom after she put up a strong front when Bob called her a bitch.

-
yy was right,
it really is flattering (:
but i guess its pretty scary at the same time too /:
i wonder if i could act differently if i didn't feel this way.

-
& Lonestar - Let me love you has on my itunes, a playcount of 306 sinec it's been added on 2/9/09.
ohmyyyyy.
its the top most played now bcos i haven't done "repeat-song-only" since i've gotten my sony =.=
AHHHHH!
everytime the chorus comes, i just... ^^;

-
anyway,
the day (friday) we went prawning & we received a lot a lot of nice favours from strangers (:
it was indeed, what me&yy called a blessed day (:

"Let me love you", my remedy

2009-09-08T11:55:00.005+08:00

September 6th, Sunday.
that sense of familiarity as it strikes me.
i wonder how.
i wonder why.
and i wonder if it is right ):

-
don't know if i sense sarcasm or am i overreacting.
but it is kind of getting on my nerves ):

-
& my throat seems to be dying after endless phone calls and interviews,
but i believe, it is all worth it (:

September 7th, Monday night.
been on tenterhooks the whole of past weeks.

fluttering butterflies in the stomach,
strange and unfamiliar restlessness,
hugeeeeeeeeeeeee loss in appetite,
the lead-heavy burden that never fails to follow after a new email or call (even if it meant good news).

it doesn't ever seem to end.

checked my email while at sheila's hse,
and there were updates from FSMaldives :D
but also yet another last-minute email regarding interviews for SIP.
hopefully tmr will be the final final final one (:

but on the bright side,
some good things that happened...

went to FS Singapore today morning & sock neng (one of the HTM grads) told us quite a bit about her experience at Maldives (:
weather today was really really really good.
just took some time to listen to the wind as it blew, while waiting for ahbu and sitting at the Tampines platform.
mass gathering at sheila's hse for farewell (a last memory?)
cooling walk from bus 17 stop to home.

i wish at moments like this,
time would stand still.
i wish i had all the time in the world to enjoy the wind,
listen to the howling,
and just relax.

alright. not forever, but at least i wish it would stand still for some time for me to clear my mind (:

anyway, updates will be up tonight/tmr but here are the lovely people (:

September 8th, Tuesday morning.
received a call as a reply for the email i sent yesterday night.
felt really sianed at first. but oh well i guess life's like this.
hah.
take it in, just take it in,
go for it although its just going for the sake of going.
after all its more practice more practice (:
& well at least aft the appt, i get to spend time again with my dearest friends who have started/will start on their sip journeys tmr!

let the next Unknown be another good one.

2009-09-07T00:32:00.005+08:00

past few days have been AMAZING.
(:

but i don't have time to update for now.
photos will do the talking, which will prolly be up later (monday night).

and earlier just now (sunday 6sept),
jono started on his new journey in life.
japannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
hopefully next month,
me & yy will be able to do the same.

apprehension,
nervewrecking,
anxiety,
anticipation.

but i believe (:

& recently,
my anxiety-relief pill are as follows! (:

Lonestar - Let me love you.
I dont wanna break this moment
I dont wanna twist our fate
I dont wanna sympathize and complicate

I dont wanna go down easy
Somethin 'bout you makes me high
A little angel tells me dont let this one by
Dont be shy
Testify

Let me love you from this moment
Let me dare to dream that far
Let me fall, let me rise
Let me dance in your eyes
And show you who you are
Let me wrap myself around your secrets
Til the stars burn into blue
Let me kiss let me touch
Close your eyes and just let me love you

Girl I wanna be the reason
I wanna be your alibi
I wanna be the one that holds you when you cry
I wanna see the place inside you
Where noone else has ever been
I wanna know all your fears and all your sins
So let me in

Let me love you from this moment
Let me dare to dream that far
Let me fall, let me rise
Let me dance in your eyes
And show you who you are
Let me wrap myself around your secrets
Til the stars burn into blue
Let me kiss let me touch
Close your eyes and just let me love you
Girl let me love you

Let me love you from this moment
Let me dare to dream that far
Let me fall, let me rise
Let me dance in your eyes
And show you who you are
Let me wrap myself around your secrets
Til the stars burn into blue
Let me kiss let me touch
Close your eyes and just let me love you
Girl let me love you

.

2009-09-02T12:24:00.000+08:00

& once again,
it brought tears to my eyes.

i'll choose yellow.

2009-09-02T01:25:00.002+08:00

tuesday (1sep),
day out with mum, jono&mum, cassie.

happy with our daifuku/mochi (which had ice cream in it :D) from the Istean Shikoku fair.
our so-called dinner bcos we were all full from lunch.

walked around practically the whole of orchard;
i was surprised i didn't die from my heels bcos i havent worn them for a while.
with no proper dinner,
me&cas&jono then headed to bugis where cassie had japanese class and me&jono shopped, looking for earrings & countryheels hah :D
930pm, met cassie, trained home! (:

but somehow,
today i didn't really have any mood for anything, especially food.
lightheaded. but unlike jono, i took no panadol (:
all were probably partly bcos i had vitasoy.
and ramen from Tampopo. as well as my mum's leftover ramen which totally made me full & added the urge to puke.
and onlygosh-knows-whatelse.
so yes, i was kind of zombified, plus a million of thoughts, as we trooped around town with no apetite for snacks.

that fluttering feeling that was in my stomach the whole day
made me extremely restless.
): think i understood why i chose grey as the color i thought i was feeling.
(on the train home, i was reading cassie's japanese textbook & there were some color-emotions pairing exercise thing)

AHHHHHHHHH! okay.
any other ramblings shall be taken private (:

updates for photos from last day of school & wanling's bday gathering will be up soon.
p.s/ relink hsin yi (:

幸福很短却浪漫

2009-09-02T00:04:00.004+08:00

sem3.1 exams were officially over on friday.
the first time i ever felt so drained after exams.
considering this is the last time i will be taking examinations in TP, i shall dedicate the following section for memory HAHA.
summary of our exams
there was this one i felt i might have done pretty well in.
there was a paper where we did memorise our craps out and it was alright.
there was one which tested on 12m Gold Standards which no one knew about.
the final one i knew, but didn't have enough time to write.

aside from those,
updates about disney osip kept us holding our breath.
after the 1st final update on friday,
me & ahbu, ahgeng, jimi, yinying, reuben, daphne headed to cine & watched The Proposal. (lala joined us after!)

i thought the script was well written;
it had its share of comedy as well as the small things in certain parts of the movie which made me tear.
(:

night,
overnight-ed at jono's house where we spent most of our time practising HwangBo & Hyun Joong's "GET HOT" dance! (:

saturday,
towned with jono before heading back to celebrate darryl's birthday!

-
it was an emotionally exhausting week.
i was depressed, happy, relieved and all sorts.
the thought of trying for (FS)Maldives thrilled me,
yet recalling how much effort we had put into Disney just tossed all that aside.
maybe bcos of the fact that it did take time for me to raise my anticipation levels after i didn't have that motivation,
just to have it all dive back down.

despite it being awfully much to handle,
its tiring to always be thinking about the past.
no one knows what the future holds,
so maybe we just have to really have faith! (:

-
came across this statement on tumblr once.

is it possible to love someone you have never met?
can you cry for someone you do not know?

i think the answer may be yes.

-
bloghopped the other day,
and was pretty touched, i admit i tear-ed.
thank you friend (:
the thought that counts! :D

jason mraz - a beautiful mess

2009-08-26T19:03:00.003+08:00

hahaa i keep remembering ahbu's face as she popped her head out of my room,
and went "OMG ?!"
HAHA! makes me happy just thinking about it (:
LOL!

-
today's paper was a killer.
we barely left our seats when we were already spouting the f words out /:

like omg, seriously.
no one would have thought about Gold Standards while reading Registration - Check out process =.=

*natalie - going crazy

2009-08-25T18:14:00.008+08:00

yesterday,
we received an email.
for some reason, i guess i would have worried more than i would have if not for that reason.
but somehow for other reasons, i wasn't in the mood to read to much into it.
after all,
i still had a ton of dpd to study, and was going to meet jono after, and then today was dpd.
i didn't really think about worrying; there wasn't any time or energy for that.

but today after dpd where all my worries went away with it,
the phone call we made after hit me.
and this time there was nothing to blow me away, or to distract me.
i hate to say, i did feel cheated.
fate, why play me and let me pass even though i was so close to the intention of giving it up just before the second round.
after two times,
and then we were all hyped up.
yet now it seems like it will all go to waste.
and my hopes which have been higher than ever before, seems like its all going to just dive and crash ever so low.

you proved me wrong once when i decided to go for it after that nz switch, twice for the flu, thrice and four for the interviews.
will you tell me i'm wrong,

and prove me wrong once again, please?

right now,
i just feel soo tired after that early morning of revising dpd in school.
drained and gosh.
but i was pretty thankful when i saw the paper.
yet now i'm home, and all i wanna do is gorge my eyes out after all the consumption of brain energy.
tmr's lodging.
i don't know what's my take on these anymore.

going crazy

2009-08-24T23:02:00.004+08:00

badbad news came today.
):

today,
ahbu came over & we dpd-ed till about 2+pm and then we gt really hungry.
maggi-ed & xing guang-ed as a break (:

then left house at around 6pm.
met mum&dad & jono&parents at Orchard Central for korean food (:
it was gooood :D

today was an interesting day although i would say studying was productive. for a span of about... 2/3hrs at first till it was alright then again till about 5+pm. haha.
for lots of reasons (:
oh one of them was that our brains reached maximum carrying capacity!

breathlessness, "get hot", lettuce couple, randomness!
(:

*hopefully our disney doc will be issued nevertheless & that we get to depart on 9/sept ):

yesterday,
studying at macs with ahbu & reubeneepur.
& we've officially come up with a zillionths of excuses hah.

dedicated to reubeneepur! his manymany-shots

OKAY BACK TO DPDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

ponyo ponyo sakana no ko :D

2009-08-22T23:25:00.004+08:00

thai express, (:
i wish i had my mum's hugeeeeee eyes. haha.
she says too bad i don't have the peranakan blood in me bcos the fraternal side took over ): ):

15 august,
day out with cassie & ahbu after O/SIP sessions.
sakae lunched with sheila & yinying + ahgeng & hengying (:
after,
the 3 of us headed to lil' india & orchard (:
takoyaki-ed & dango-ed & home sweet home with a lift from my parents who were in orchard :D

22 august (today),
yinying came over in the early afternoon to study & then with cassie's dad giving a lift at about 3+pm, we headed to 夏祭り！
NATSU MATSURI 2009!! :D :D
me & cassie's 3rd year attending (:
& we finally were early enough to be the 45th & 46th persons renting yukatas! :D

with yinying & her japanese classmates (Sarah & Edith; ningzhi joined us after! :)

before tidying up...

after tidying up...

this year, instead of just watching the 盆踊り　bon-odori, we JOINED IN!
omg it was sooooo fun :D :D

home sweet home at abt 9/10+pm! (:

"love you so"

2009-08-21T18:09:00.001+08:00

STUDYING IS FUN.
HAHA.

WITH MAXBOY! :D :D
me and ahbu laughed our heads off when we first arrived at reubeneeepur's house.
maxboy didnt come out to greet us though ):
but he was very cute :D

although he peed everywhere, and ahbu stepped on it twice.
and he poo-ed as well!
but oh well! (:

today's F&B paper was alright! :D
everything that we kept testing each other came out heh (:
thank gosh.

after,
8 of us headed to tampines1 for saycheeze! (:
service was great (:
hmmm good customer service. hah. so F&B, even after the paper.

TMed & CSed after as well! :D
& then now ahbu is beside me! (:
happy day!

out of my league

2009-08-11T23:33:00.004+08:00

it was all the little things
and it still is
but it took a turn
and all i just want to do now is see past it

yet some things in life
i know i won't forget
the habit was too much
it became involuntary
just like how you appear in my dreams
even after all these years

& gosh
something must be wrong with me
it really doesnt help to just find out
you were sick the same week i was
yet i can't ask
because no, i totally lost that right

why do i feel
everytime when it just gets right
time proves me wrong

everyone grow up in different ways
just why does it have to be so different
things that can't be changed
i wish i could say life's unfair
yet i don't deserve to
i really don't

we all know the future is in our hands
so why do we keep complaining
maybe we should learn
to quit just saying
and instead, start realising it

doesn't it all feel so fake
while smiles surround
you never know
because everything feels surreal
and protected, maybe

yet we all have millions of faces
why do we only see that one side
why do we show only that one single side
doesn't it get tiring to hide
yet we can't help but live with it every single day

-
don't bother about what i've just wrote.
no one would understand it,
because it's feelings about probably a dozen different things.

monkey majik - aishiteru! :D

2009-08-10T14:08:00.005+08:00

overdued posts, many many!

thursday (23 jul)
harry potter day out with peeps of cassie, ahgeng mummy, yue wen, reuben!
off to cathay cine we went,
and we had a pretty good *#**#$ too! :D
arcade-d trying to get stuffed toys (:

well the movie was nice as a movie i suppose. but as usual it doesn't live up to its book.

thursday (6 aug)
night out dinner with my parents! (:
pasta de waraku at the airport heh :D
i can't help but still love the food there!

saturday (8 aug)
was really bawling my eyes out at the whole series of Aishiteru ):
but i quite loved the drama!

sunday (9 aug)
shtcubed for national day!
first stop was me & matt meeting cassie at bugis!
:D bought denim jacket.
after, we headed to Ion orchard,
where me and matt had taiyaki (i had german potato cheese, he had italian) which was really gooooood :D
i feeel like having more!

then. far east plaza-ed!
we had drinks from mango lingo and then walked around and i bought shoes!
after the not-much but pretty-expensive shopping, Marina Barrage!

the fireworks were short, and we barely saw much, but we still had fun! (:

after, the long and what seemed like endless walk back to the train station which was probably about 5km,
we hopped on the train to Clarke Quay in anticipation of dinner! :D

was contemplating about choice of restaurants and standing outside Tomton.
when we saw the miracle :D
"eat all you can, Sunday promo"
OMG we practically jumped in in joy.
SHABU SHABU!

don't ask why they are all pics of matt, he was sitting opposite me of course!
but anyway,
the food was so damneeeeeeeeeeeeed good.
we had like 5 servings of the meat plate omg.
we ended up practically stuffing ourselves up but it was really, so damned good.

(: a little walk after our stuffing-filling dinner!

random shots for the day!

cassie! :D
my favourite pictureeee!

so yes, home sweet home at around 1230mn!

blaaa!

2009-08-03T18:31:00.003+08:00

past whole week was spent sick & unwell!
my doc told me to get off crowded places where i might spread the germs.
hah.
so i spent friday, saturday and sunday resting at home with my mouth tasting pretty much like medicine.
doing misc tutorials, packing up files and computer admin stuff, lodging ppt, catching up on tons of dramas & finally dozing off to sleep.

Mr. Brain was a pretty damned good show (:

Majo Saiban was alright. but i really hated Higa Minami in here /: just felt like slapping her every single time she appeared /:
summer dramas! (:

what's meant to be, will always find its way.

2009-07-29T02:38:00.003+08:00

*jumps with glee*
summer season dramas!
yamapi + yabu.
ryo + tackey + mizukawa asami + hikaru.

okay but i'm not even done watching spring dramas /:
zzzzz!
when can i find the time to do so!

~~today~~ yesterday (tuesday),
was supposed to spend my day studying lodging.
but monday's cough turned into a worse cough, headache & a slight fever ):
practically set myself at the sofa, head resting, trying to focus on the online opera lessons. but just waiting for the pages to load gave me an even more headache as i dozed off between pages /:
in the end, i finished only the part on Reservations =.=
the rest of the day till about 7pm was spent sleeping /:

dinnered & panadol-ed after.
felt better but still wasn't tons of wellness.

tumblr-ing seems to be a little therapy (:

-i miss you, blink182 (:

2009-07-26T21:35:00.004+08:00

(:
talked a lot last night (:
glad.
but how long will it last before it turns out like before?

spent the evening yesterday with yin-ying and her church friends,
at the Youth Conference.
when i was 15, i never dreamt i would see hillsong perform live.
thank you my girl! :D

met her friends, and they were all very nice! :D
had lots of fun!

today,
last minute decision bcos ahgeng and ahbu were at white sands, so they came over in the late afternoon!
made pasta for dinner!

&& they left about 930pm!

oh did i mention,
i really really think my timetable is screwed. bcos i go to like 1 class for three days, and 2 classes for the other 2 days.
its just making me spend more money (blame the temptation of food!) every single time i leave the house ): ):

silence is loud, when all you hear is your heart.

greys madness!

2009-07-25T04:12:00.001+08:00

screwed up my mice interview big time ): ): ):

but anyway on a high note,
greys anatomy madness.
i finally found time to finish up the last two episodes of season 5 aft i got home!
so yes, all grey's/grey's cast related news up ahead!

---
EXCITINGG! :D

just look at the cast!
aside from McDreamy&McSteamy :D
there's jennifer garner, anne hathaway, jessica alba, julia roberts! :D

credits: here.

chyler leigh :D
at 27, she's a mum of THREE!
oh well but her kids are really cute :D

credits: here.

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved

2009-07-22T20:27:00.001+08:00

Martina McBride - Concrete Angel

it did make me cry /:

She walks to school with the lunch she packed

Nobody knows what she's holding back

Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday

She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask

It's hard to see the pain behind the mask

Bearing the burden of a secret storm

Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place

Where she's loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night

The neighbors hear but they turn out the light

A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate

When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place

Where she's loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place

An angel girl with an upturned face

A name is written on a polished rock

A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place

Where she's loved concrete angel

music & photo therapy.

2009-07-15T19:26:00.000+08:00

reblogged from mikkijsmith@tumblr.
こうやって、あたしもほしい。。。

i wish i had the whole day to just stare at tumblr.
although its pretty time wasting.
but it gives me a chance to escape from reality, doesnt it?

all i wanna do is just to get out of this crap,
please.

自分で苦痛を隠すのが上手だと思う。。
誰も気付かなかった。
帰ったら、元気になれると思った。
全く間違った。
いま安心の感じがぜんぜんない。

ole songs ole songs loveeeeeeeeeeee!

2009-07-15T04:22:00.002+08:00

dined out with ahgeng mummy & yuewen yesterday night at 18chefs,
talked about random stuff again.
and i wonder what was that feeling i had.

i don't know why my heart felt so warm yet cold when we spoke about it ):

hmmm. anticipation!
in less than two months,
4th september! :D

The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary.

2009-07-14T01:03:00.003+08:00

sat in dad's car on the way home,
looked around,
realised.

everyone has something they work so hard to strive for.
do i have that?
maybe i do,
just that i haven't found out what it is.

disney applications, etc.
and thats just the least of matters! ):
tons of important dates next week!
omg*

SAVE ME! /: /:

!

2009-07-13T11:50:00.001+08:00

"you are the reason i can smile when everything is wrong"
- blogsecret

いまからどうするとおもった。
これはあんしんのかんじかな？
じぶんもわかない。

でもくるしいね。

oh this is bad.
ever since i "moved back" into my room,
i've been falling asleep while doing my work,
leaving my laptop on the whole night!

zzzz!

music sanity.

2009-07-12T00:33:00.011+08:00

after all the angst, part of this post has been cut (:

jono might be coming back to SIN on 21st/23rd august, he's leaving for japan on 7/sept i think.
can't wait for him to be back (:
the last 2 weeks we can meet up before he flies off to japan and me to disney!

friday was out with yakai & yuheng!
haha and although i spent most of the night listening to army lingo,
it was great having to be in their company again (:
listened to their stories haha :D
and i was pretty surprised and happy to know the little things they still remember :D
love!

saturday was supposed to be out with the peeps at sentosa but i slept and woke up late.
planned to meet them for dinner, but bcos of mum and blahblanaggingblah i had to head to uncle's house for dinner instead! ):
misses!

(: my queen*

2009-07-08T00:46:00.003+08:00

yes,
the phrase i've been telling myself often when things go wrong;
everything happens for a reason.

ms goh mentioned it in apel today (:
& i'm gonna miss her apel classes.. ):

bus17-ed with ho, walked home after (:
took th stairs up to my house again (:
did a little cleaning, changed my quilt and bedsheets :D

i feel so happy heh :D
but think i've been eating too much in my room /:
somehow it smells of food /:

hm!

2009-07-06T18:23:00.006+08:00

so many things happened through the week.
and i learnt that knowing the answer might sometimes be better than ignorance is bliss.
or maybe it was just cos of the projects which were making me lose my mind,
but ironically also keeping me sane with the company i had (:

tuesday night,

kbox with peeps! finalllyyy sang to our hearts content.
they stayed over that night! (:

friday night,
the others left earlier,
me and thad stayed in tp till about 12+mn and i had a lift from her dad&bro (:
reached home and had msn discussions abt prjts.
and the funniest thing was..

2.50am
thad:	i nap for 20mins now
me:	LOL OMGZ. hahaha teddy do u need me to call u up
thad:	5 mins gone just now nvm i set 3 alarms to wake me 20 mins later hahahaha k ciao
me:	LOLLL kk
3.50am
me:	TEDYYYYY! MORE THAN 20mins alr HAHAHA
no reply

i love my prjtmates! :D
they make prjts seem less tiring than it really is.

saturday,
DHL seemed endless becos i was so tired from that mere 2.5hours of sleep ):
had to stop myself from snoozing /:
other than that, it wasn't very bad :D
had fun talking about "blazers", "spoilers" and applause with my seat-neighbours, andy phua and yuewen! (:
late afternoon, reached home and just slept the entire evening away :D

sunday,
headed to tampines to meet up with ahbu&rat for ikea in the evening; ahgeng joined us a lil after!
met adrianna's family while at tamp1 and had a chat with them! :D :D
the rest need not have any elaborations (:
ate a lot (:
bought my stuff and dad gave us a lift home; ahgeng&ahbu stayed over for the night!

today was "observe-day" /:
- it might be obvious, yet it may be so subtle.

hah.
4group projects, 3down, 1more to go!

yes

2009-06-29T10:39:00.002+08:00

Heaven. Hell. Limbo. No-one even knows where we're going. Or what's waiting for us when we get there. But the one thing we can say, with absolute certainty, is that there are moments that take us to another place. Moments of Heaven on Earth. And maybe for now, that's all we need to know.
- Denny, Grey's Anatomy S5 "stairway to heaven"

will history repeat itself?

2009-06-29T02:37:00.001+08:00

been addicted to tumblr.

- creampuff

The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they’re out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don’t have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you’re in control, you’re not.
- Grey’s Anatomy

secret's out of the bag;
it feels so much better.

and i thought i decided what's up next,
but now i'm not so sure again after all.

--

missing Melbourne city ):

i remember the day i got to Sydney,
i thought to myself "hey i think i could enjoy living here!"
but after one day of getting from the hotel to the city, and within the city,
i thought "okay this place is pretty small and kind of not my type".

i miss Melbourne.
i miss the grid layout of Melbourne city.
i miss the trams.
i miss the buses.
i quite liked the university & the cafe opposite the medical building.

sighhhh.

city circle tram running through the city, & its free! :D

one of the levels of the commerce building, University of Melbourne!
dark, but i still quite like the picture (:

(:

2009-06-27T17:31:00.001+08:00

i'm moving blogs.
maybe tonight?

:D hehe.
found a new wooooots!

HAHAHA.

why do i love you
don't even want to

:D westlife!

old songs.

2009-06-25T01:28:00.003+08:00

親友もそう思った。
たぶん、そのままでいったほうがいい。
ほかのは。。
どうする。。。。
）：

時々、どうして説明する必要があると思う。
もし、聞かなければ、悲しくならない。

so plain and clear.
how can there ever be anything more?

i thought i was done.
obviously i'm not.

starving ):

2009-06-24T04:04:00.003+08:00

typed a whole chunk,
but er. nevermind.

osip disney.
now its yinying, and i pray she gets in too! (: (:

bday celebration/dinner/meetup with badminton peeps :D
blog about it tmr!

soulsearching,

2009-06-20T02:26:00.006+08:00

when Corrinne May sounds like bliss.

so many stories the past week..
endless thoughts just ran through my mind, like a train so fast i don't seem to have enough time to think about all of them /:

life is full of ups and downs.

but when we're feeling down,
it helps to know,
some fairytales still exist (:

we may think about why others are so fortunate,
while we're like...

but when when we think about it again,
there are people out there worse off too..
shouldn't we count our lucky stars?
and tell ourselves, there's still hope?

of course, as always,
its easier said than done.
but maybe, we could just remember these.

weird,
i don't really hear the phrase "fate, it lies in your hands" often, often.
but i heard it twice today. in different conversations.
it was about a specific topic, which i won't elaborate in here.
but generally, doesn't it always apply in life?

its true,
its not simple and easy as it seems,
but deep down we know we are the ones who will make it happen if we want it to.

it just probably takes up all the effort and courage we can muster.
-

these were written after various issues of emo-ing over personal stuff, various stories, bloghopping to an old friend's blog, recalling yesterday's Four Seasons Hotel step-out programme.

the programme turned out to be really interesting,
and i wasn't in the least disappointed at having to wake up at an early 630+ish am.
learnt a pretty great deal of stuff that can't be ever taught in a classroom, and i was pretty impressed with their org. culture (:
during the session, they talked about various stuff.
and it made me rethink about why i joined the course,
a question all of us seem to be asking ourselves over and over again.
my initial reason for joining the course was just basically a naive desire to travel.
but right there and then, i realised i think i may have found my reason for being here (:

and its just all up to me to make everything about it come true.

rough it out loud,
laugh it out loud (:

:D

2009-06-15T23:59:00.005+08:00

clear-minded already :D :D
found out about some stuff.
it probably happens to everyone at some point in time.
but i don't care bcos i can't take it.
made up my mind! :D
and i'm glad glad gladdddddddddd!

i really want the Love Songs for High Society from that cd shop ):
oh man. their collections are all like whoooots! :D

music therappyyyyyyyyyy!

(: jesse mccartney!
pretty good to listen to while doing your work!
& i watched the vid of him singing this, melts* (:

Were the best of friends

And we share our secrets

She knows everything that is on my mind

But lately somethings changed

As I lie awake in my bed

A voice here inside my head

Softly says

Why don't you kiss her
Why don't you tell her
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz she'll never know
If you never show
The way u feel inside

Oh im so afraid to make that first move

Just a touch and we

Could cross the line

And everytime she's near

I wanna never let her go

Confess to her what my heart knows

Hold her close

Why don't you kiss her

Why don't you tell her

Why don't you let her see

The feelings that you hide

Cuz she'll never know

If you never show

The way u feel inside

What would she say

I wonder would she just turn away

Or would she promise me

That she's here to stay

It hurts me to wait

I keep asking myself

Why don't you kiss her

Why don't you tell her

Why don't you let her see

The feelings that you hide

Cuz she'll never know

If you never show

The way u feel inside

Why don't you kiss her (tell her you love her)

Why don't u tell her (tell her you need her)

Why don't you let her see

The feelings that you hide

Cuz she'll never know

If you never show

The way you feel inside...

(:

2009-06-15T00:47:00.001+08:00

my biyin ahbu! :D :D
yesterday was your happy happy birthday,
hope you enjoyed your kbox with rat and others :D

whoooots have already known you for 2+ years! (:
heh and you are the best ahbu ever! :D
my kai xin guo, motivation, the person who cheers me up! :D
haha love you!! :D :D

haha corny but what would i do without you?! haha.
i cant imagine life without biyin ahbu!

unplanned, late, but infinity loves all the same.
:D

and now is monday, & its
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMBO too!
:D

-
sunday,
funan it mall-ed with jimmy & sheila for their repair of laptops!
IT fair-ed after, and it was miserably squeezy, filled with people all the more since it was a sunday, and i had headaches.
but we bought what we wanted.
ballballbase, laptop fan, mic! :D
after, sheila left for her projects; me & jimmy headed to taka!
kinokuniya-ed where we spent a bomb.
okay actually it was me. although i only bought two items, which costed like 3 times more than jimmy's four items ):

conclusion for the day.
i spent a bomb on misc stuff /:

& im tired ):

its always gonna be an uphill battle

2009-06-13T14:11:00.004+08:00

funny how some things,
you want them to change.
yet its so hard for it to happen.

but some others,
you wished it'd never change.
yet its an inevitable occurence.

i wonder if all along it was this way,
or did someone or something change along the way.

i wish we could return to the past.
when at least,
the people were simpler and honest.

miss secondary school peeps ): ):

does it fade away?

2009-06-12T00:35:00.004+08:00

its a wonder how i have so many songs in my itunes but i still love the songs on shuffle because it always turns out to be the nice ones (:

will blog about wednesday another day.
just a note, i'm never having any drinks again. okay maybe not, but at least not free flows.

yesterday (thursday) was horrid.
i spent more than 2 hours trying to reinstall an antivirus program which took me restarting like 4 times because there was also windows update.
and it scared the heck out of me when my screen went black, with only one command line showing in the middle.
when the lappy was finally done restarting, "NO AUDIO DEVICE INPUT IS INSTALLED".

X_X!
pissed the hell out of me as i tried downloading the driver from the sony website which took me forever (and when it finally did at night, it didn't work).
but somehow i found another way and after another reboot, i finally had speakers again.

okay enough of complaining.
:D

byeee.

ole songs, my love.

2009-06-10T04:32:00.004+08:00

somehow,
was thinking about what tsktsk said.
i was so lack of energy due to hunger,
too preoccupied with thoughts..
i almost scooped my rice into my cup instead of bowl.
bcos its exactly the way she had told me.

a way to describe it..
its like nicotine.
i'm on the losing end yet its just..
addictive.
and i know it.

(i'm not taking drugs, zzz. its just an expression)

crazey-ness

*Rie fu - Romantic

endlessly blessed, (:

どうしよう？ 教えてくれない？

(:

「新しい自分になりたい」

"when you feel like...

): i want school.

"something about you"

Chris Daughtry, Over You.

lollipop,

You make it through the pain,

perhaps,

(: Jesse McCartney - Come to Me

郭靜 - 心牆

give me inspiration needed for my research paper pls.

too much to handle for one night

a new chapter.

dhow?

i need ascertainment.

i dont know.

dilemma.

life.

"I'll be there for youuuuuuuu~"

rain rain!

i miss the days i wore jeans in aust everyday ):

hooohoo.

reluctance.

Dam dam di dam dam dam dam dam.

five for fighting - 100 years*

dolphins, serenade.

taeyang - wedding dress*

yamapi - loveless*

sunsets.

:D

call centre no koibito! :D

(:

finally,

prays her laptop will be fine.

every beat of my heart.

gossip girl.

ええええ？

MALDIVES IS HEAVENLY PARADISE, until we start work, probably.

*LVOE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG

more tears.

farewells, it won't feel like just another off-day tomorrow.

wishes she could live a day ahead

and she wonders,

camomile tea & honey, where's my lemon?

hmm. hungry again /:

she feels a lil hungry /:

SUNDAY? what sunday?

when the girl can't help but grin like an idiot :D

"take me where i've never been"

bring upon a smile on my face (: dont say "yet.

"Hold me now, safe within Your love"

"There is no one else for me,"

"I'm the whisper in the wind"

あなたがいるの夢をもう一度見たい。

Arashi - step & go!*

ultimate randomness

BACKDATEEEEED!

~lalallaallaaa

author of salvation~

Arashi - One Love

):

"Let me love you", my remedy

let the next Unknown be another good one.

.

i'll choose yellow.

幸福很短却浪漫

jason mraz - a beautiful mess

*natalie - going crazy

going crazy

ponyo ponyo sakana no ko :D

"love you so"

out of my league

monkey majik - aishiteru! :D

blaaa!

what's meant to be, will always find its way.

どうしよう？　教えてくれない？